


nuwusies

by mlmenjolras



Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: F/F, Halloween, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, On Hiatus, Texting, chat fic, it’s brief tho, kinnie jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2020-05-15 19:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19302487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mlmenjolras/pseuds/mlmenjolras
Summary: yeehaw has added 26 people to the server.





	1. nuwusies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> race: bastard (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> darcy: dorcy! (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> romeo: rose emoji (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> albert: owo uwu owo nya (he/him, cis male, pan)  
> bill: bees? (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> crutchie: crunchy (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> davey: davey (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> elmer: glue (he/they, genderfluid, pan)  
> mush: michael meyers (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> jack: yeehaw (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> spot: sprite cranberry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> mike: ike but cuter (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> ike: uh oh sisters! (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> henry: BoohBah (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> finch: binch (he/him, cis male, demi)  
> buttons: babadook (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> smalls: mr wide (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> jojo: jowojowo (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> blink: get it i’m half blind (he/they, demiboy, gay)  
> specs: hurricane tortilla (she/her, cis female, bi)  
> tommy boy: oh shit a rat (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> sniper: thot patrol (she/her, trans female, ace)  
> katherine: thot 1 (she/her, trans female, lesbian)  
> sarah: thot 2 (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> myron: probably not a lizard (they/them, nonbinary, pan)  
> bart: not a furry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> hotshot: goat (he/they, gnc, pan)  
> graves: VoreMaster69 (he/him, cis male, ace)  
> kenny: save me from my hell (he/him, cis male, bi)

_yeehaw has added 26 people to the server._

 

yeehaw: i suppose you’re wondering why i’ve gathered you all here today

bastard: i’m literally right next to you

yeehaw: shh

ike but cuter: why would you do this jackathan

owo uwu owo nya: to kill us

get it im half blind: then perish

yeehaw: NO it just occurred to me that we don’t have a friends server

sprite cranberry: VERY bold of you to call us friends

bastard: :(

sprite cranberry: fine. thin fucking ice though

bastard: :D

uh oh sisters!: GUYS OMG MIKE JUST LET OUT THE MOST DISGUSTING BURP IT WAS AWESOME AJDJWJAB

BoohBah: sexy. i’m coming over

ike but cuter: ;)

BoohBah: ;)

babadook: ew

davey: buttons why is your name babadook

babadook: stealing race’s brand

bastard: :(

bastard: i’m the babadook i’m the one that’s still so deep in the closet you don’t know i’m there until i’m tearing ur life apart

bastard: and then i’m fed worms to be kept at bay

yeehaw: who hurt you

bastard: god

crunchy: sorry bout that i added a lil too much fuck-up juice into your mix

bastard: FUCK UP JUICE FJSLGMS

mr wide: guys can we not all talk in this rn? elmer’s asleep and i don’t know his passcode to mute the chat

yeehaw: oh yea ok!

mr wide: thank you :D goodnight

davey: goodnight!!

 

_[davey > jack] _

 

davey: was this really a friends server or do you just want to see our friends get their heads out of their asses about who they like

jack: yes

davey: fair

davey: are you actually going to bed

jack: no lol race and i just banged

davey: jesus fucking christ

davey: i thought you two broke up??

jack: fwb

jack: even if we ain’t together when we’re single we’re fwb

jack: hang on i gotta clean up our mess

davey: that’s enough for me goodnight

 

_[mike > ike] _

 

ike: i don’t want to move but help lesbian crisis

mike: god who now

ike: die

ike: specs

mike: OH SHE’S CUTE

ike: INFUCKING KNOW!!!!!

ike: HELP HOW DO I GIRL

ike: I’M FERAL

mike: IDK I’VE NEVER GIRLED SUCCESSFULLY

ike: god ur dumb

mike: must b genetic

ike: nah bc being cute isn’t

mike: perish

ike: gowodbye

 

_[ike > sarah] _

 

ike: how do i girl

sarah: pussy eat

ike: thx

 

_[ike > katherine] _

 

ike: lesbian help

katherine: what do you need my child

ike: girl

ike: prety

ike: hrrgh

katherine: whom

ike: specs

katherine: read a book she’s a distinguished lesbian

ike: I DON’T KNOW HOW TO READ

katherine: do u wanna wife her

ike: YES

katherine: suck it up and read a book

ike: FUCK


	2. ike learns to read

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> race: bastard (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> darcy: dorcy! (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> romeo: rose emoji (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> albert: owo uwu owo nya (he/him, cis male, pan)  
> bill: bees? (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> crutchie: crunchy (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> davey: davey (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> elmer: glue (he/they, genderfluid, pan)  
> mush: michael meyers (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> jack: yeehaw (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> spot: sprite cranberry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> mike: ike but cuter (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> ike: uh oh sisters! (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> henry: BoohBah (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> finch: binch (he/him, cis male, demi)  
> buttons: babadook (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> smalls: mr wide (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> jojo: jowojowo (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> blink: get it i’m half blind (he/they, demiboy, gay)  
> specs: hurricane tortilla (she/her, cis female, bi)  
> tommy boy: oh shit a rat (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> sniper: thot patrol (she/her, trans female, ace)  
> katherine: thot 1 (she/her, trans female, lesbian)  
> sarah: thot 2 (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> myron: probably not a lizard (they/them, nonbinary, pan)  
> bart: not a furry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> hotshot: goat (he/they, gnc, pan)  
> graves: VoreMaster69 (he/him, cis male, ace)  
> kenny: save me from my hell (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> jsyk i’m always writing crutchie with eds type iii/hypermobility and race and davey with autism + sensory issues thank u for ur time

glue: good morning kermits

michael meyers: good morning kermit 

dorcy!: good morning kermit!

glue: how did everyone sleep

mr wide: ur an angel ily

glue: i try!! ilyt

bastard: who wants to b my new bf

mr wide: i thought u and jack were dating

bastard: we broke up

mr wide: hmm lemme consult the council

sprite cranberry: any particular reason y’all are spamming me at eight in the morning on a motherfucking tuesday during my sexy sexy summer break

bastard: i don’t sleep

dorcy!: i have a healthy sleep schedule unlike some people

mr wide: race needs a bf

sprite cranberry: sucks to suck

bastard: you’d know

goat: morning spot

sprite cranberry: hotshot the light of my life

goat: nvm

sprite cranberry: squints

sprite cranberry: just so you ALL know, smalls just came into my room and sat on my stomach and told me to let race wife me

sprite cranberry: i hate one boy

glue: he left me :(

mr wide: i’ll be back my love

crunchy: good morning anyone want some shitty joints on sale all for free

bastard: do i! take mine

crunchy: thank you your donation means a lot

yeehaw: omw with my electric blanket

crunchy: god is real in this chilli’s tonight

hurricane tortilla: oh nice we have a group chat about time

uh oh sisters!: SPECS HELP I CAN’T BOOK

hurricane tortilla: lol ok omw

hurricane tortilla: you’re home right?

uh oh sisters!: SHIT YEAH

bastard: ike y r u typing in all caps

uh oh sisters!: MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK

ike but cuter: ur on ur phone dummy

uh oh sisters!: lock ur door mike

 

_ [ike > katherine] _

 

ike: HOLY SHIT

katherine: PROUD OF YOU

ike: mike’s gonna get it

katherine: don’t kill him too hard

ike: :)

 

_ [nuwusies] _

probably not a lizard: oh shit group chat

sprite cranberry: race can i come over

bastard: no i’m nakey 

sprite cranberry: w,,hy

bastard: because i didn’t bother getting dressed last night

sprite cranberry: that doesn’t answer my question 

bastard: jack

sprite cranberry: i thought you said you two broke up

bastard: fwb

sprite cranberry: isn’t tht weird tho 

sprite cranberry: still banging ur ex

bastard: babyboy we’ve been fwb since we were still in high school it’s not weird

sprite cranberry: can u get dressed so i cn come over

bastard: yes

mr wide: ooooo

sprite cranberry: shut it

 

_ [spot > smalls] _

 

smalls: ARE YOU GOING TO TALK TO HIM???? FINALLY??????

smalls: u emotionally constipated little mans,,

spot: i’m taller than you. 

spot: but idk, we’ll have to see when we get there 

smalls: elmer and i r cheering for u do u hear us

spot: yes thank you

spot: are you two ever gonna date

smalls: >:0

smalls: IDK I DON’T KNOW IF I LIKE HIM THAT WAY

spot: i’m joking, dw

spot: ok i’ll be back

smalls: use protection uwu

spot: >:|

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://trans-race.tumblr.com)   
>  [read my serious fic i’m working really hard on it and it’s my baby](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18206744)   
> 


	3. does specs is gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> race: bastard (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> darcy: dorcy! (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> romeo: rose emoji (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> albert: owo uwu owo nya (he/him, cis male, pan)  
> bill: bees? (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> crutchie: crunchy (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> davey: davey (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> elmer: glue (he/they, genderfluid, pan)  
> mush: michael meyers (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> jack: yeehaw (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> spot: sprite cranberry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> mike: ike but cuter (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> ike: uh oh sisters! (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> henry: BoohBah (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> finch: binch (he/him, cis male, demi)  
> buttons: babadook (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> smalls: mr wide (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> jojo: jowojowo (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> blink: get it i’m half blind (he/they, demiboy, gay)  
> specs: hurricane tortilla (she/her, cis female, bi)  
> tommy boy: oh shit a rat (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> sniper: thot patrol (she/her, trans female, ace)  
> katherine: thot 1 (she/her, trans female, lesbian)  
> sarah: thot 2 (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> myron: probably not a lizard (they/them, nonbinary, pan)  
> bart: not a furry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> hotshot: goat (he/they, gnc, pan)  
> graves: VoreMaster69 (he/him, cis male, ace)  
> kenny: save me from my hell (he/him, cis male, bi)

_[spot > jack] _

 

spot: you and race are just fwb right

jack: yeah why

spot: is it ok if i snap him up

jack: are you asking permission to date my fuckbuddy??

spot: yeah??

jack: you don’t need to ask me, go for it

spot: sweet

 

_[davey > jack] _

 

jack: spot conlon just asked me if he could date race??

davey: there’s two checked off

jack: ya i’m just confused

jack: like

davey: he’s probably just making sure there wasn’t anything serious

jack: i guess

jack: who do you wanna bet is next

davey: hmm

jack: u can’t say anyone thts already together

davey: ike and specs??

jack: u think ike is put together enough to ask specs out?

davey: you think ike’s gonna ask?

jack: u think ike’s gonna stay conscious if specs asks?

davey: listen i have a feeling ok

davey: i know my gut. i’m right

 

_[nuwusies]_

 

oh shit a rat: what’s stopping me from eating a block of styrofoam right here right now

probably not a lizard: your own cowardice

not a furry: god himself

goat: nothing

VoreMaster69: the rats

sprite cranberry: me

oh shit a rat: me when the entirety of brooklyn gangs up on me:

oh shit a rat: @binch helb me

binch: ur sensory issues r stopping u

binch: u know if u touch it ur gonna freak out

binch: step away from the styrofoam

oh shit a rat: thank u .

oh shit a rat: finch cortes, 99% of my impulse control everyone

uh oh sisters!: god FUCK katherine i’m losing my mind she’s so cute and i’m gonna PERISH

bastard: nani???

uh oh sisters!: wrong chat disregard that!

yeehaw: wig!

 

_[ike, sarah, katherine: lesbian crisis hotline]_

 

ike: GOD DAMMIT!!!!

sarah: just delete the msg

ike: it’s too late for that i’m already booboo the fool

ike: but she’s been helping me out with understanding this book because god fuck i’m not smart enough to understand literature and she’s so CUTE WHEN SHE’S FOCUSED

sarah: god ur a mess

sarah: reminds me of when i was trying to ask kath out

sarah: but listen

sarah: u just gotta wait for the right moment. the moon is a lesbian and she will help u

ike: i feel like i’m more of a sun lesbian

katherine: trust me you’re moon

katherine: but sarah’s right

ike: ok,,, ok

sarah: eat her pussy mama

ike: u got it ma’am

 

_[specs > sarah] _

 

specs: please help mom

sarah: i love how u all come to me like i know what i’m doing

specs: ur the only one that got the girl

sarah: u strike me as sun lesbian but listen to the moon

specs: do u know who i’m going to say

sarah: ike or sniper, both of which are moon lesbians

specs: ike

sarah: oh tight

sarah: ya just trust the moon she’s never done us wrong

specs: i trust you. please don’t be wrong

 

_[nuwusies]_

 

jowojowo: i accidentally almost sent lewds to the wrong person

babadook: who tf u sending lewds to young man

jowojowo: 1) i’m 19 i’m a whole adult 2) nunya

babadook: nunya??

jowojowo: nunya business

bastard: OHHHHHHHHHH

owo uwu owo nya: AIRHORNS AIRHORNS BYU BYU BYU BYUUUUU

jowojowo: B))))

babadook: :|

sprite cranberry: race why do u keep saying uwu

owo uwu owo nya: his echolalia

sprite cranberry: oh ok

bastard: same w “ooooh. get money yah yah. get money yah yah. wait wait uh. stiffy uh. spin on my dick like a beyblade uh.”

sprite cranberry: how long have we known each other

bastard: five years??

sprite cranberry: how am i just learning abt all ur stim stuff now

bastard: mad trauma

sprite cranberry: oh

bastard: :p

 

_[race > spot] _

 

spot: hey if you ever need to talk abt it i’m here ok? i care about you

race: it’s fine i’m getting better

race: and i don’t like talking about it

spot: :\

 

_[nuwusies]_

 

hurricane tortilla: HELP I’M AT IKE’S AND I CAN’T FIND MY LEFT SHOE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://trans-race.tumblr.com)   
>  [read my other fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18206744)   
> 


	4. the wetuwn of womeo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> race: bastard (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> darcy: dorcy! (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> romeo: rose emoji (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> albert: owo uwu owo nya (he/him, cis male, pan)  
> bill: bees? (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> crutchie: crunchy (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> davey: davey (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> elmer: glue (he/they, genderfluid, pan)  
> mush: michael meyers (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> jack: yeehaw (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> spot: sprite cranberry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> mike: ike but cuter (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> ike: uh oh sisters! (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> henry: BoohBah (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> finch: binch (he/him, cis male, demi)  
> buttons: babadook (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> smalls: mr wide (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> jojo: jowojowo (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> blink: get it i’m half blind (he/they, demiboy, gay)  
> specs: hurricane tortilla (she/her, cis female, bi)  
> tommy boy: oh shit a rat (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> sniper: thot patrol (she/her, trans female, ace)  
> katherine: thot 1 (she/her, trans female, lesbian)  
> sarah: thot 2 (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> myron: probably not a lizard (they/them, nonbinary, pan)  
> bart: not a furry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> hotshot: goat (he/they, gnc, pan)  
> graves: VoreMaster69 (he/him, cis male, ace)  
> kenny: save me from my hell (he/him, cis male, bi)

BoohBah: OK GUYS EMERGENCY

BoohBah: HAS ANYONE FOUND MY HEARING AID

ike but cuter: literally driving to ur house rn with it!! i found it after you left

BoohBah: i’d die for you

ike but cuter: [thenperish.png]

crunchy: henry how do you forget a hearing aid

BoohBah: it’s easy

BoohBah: i’ve been hoh my whole life and didn’t get hearing aids until recently

BoohBah: a bitch be forgettin

crunchy: ohh

crunchy: oof!

ike but cuter: fbi open up i know you been watchin anime

davey: there’s a lot of people missing that usually aren’t

BoohBah: YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE

oh shit a rat: wdym

davey: ike? specs? race? smalls? spot? albert?

ike but cuter: ike and specs are at home sleeping i’m not waking them up

ike but cuter: ike Will kill me in cold blood

glue: smalls is with me!!

davey: so that leaves spot and the other two

rose emoji: albert’s coming over

glue: WOMEO!!!!!

rose emoji: 👅

glue: HEWWO!!!!!!!!

oh shit a rat: where’ve you even been

rose emoji: around

rose emoji: y’all remember how i got hit in the head rlly hard at field hockey

get it i’m half blind: oh shit concussion?

rose emoji: yuh

michael meyers: are you ok??

rose emoji: kinda yea i’m pretty healed up

rose emoji: which is why albert’s coming over

davey: i was really worried about you romeo

davey: did anything else get hurt?

rose emoji: i broke my nose when it happened but it’s healed up now

crunchy: :( i’m sorry romeo

rose emoji: it’s alright i’m all healedt up

oh shit a rat: hell yeah babey ur healedt

VoreMaster69: spot sent me a snapchat of him and race

davey: ok they’re located

yeehaw: everybody pop your pussy like this *thunder noise

thot patrol: that’s the worst thing i’ve ever read

yeehaw: damn shame

yeehaw: ALSO ROMEO THANK GOD YOU’RE HEALEDT

yeehaw: i missed you i was sad yeehawin

thot 2: when you see a lemon

thot 1: i see a lemon

goat: what even is happening

thot 2: lemon

thot 1: lemön

goat: lemon?

thot 2: do u not know that meme

goat: no???

thot 2: you failed me

thot 2: kath babe do you have it

thot 1: yeah one sec

thot 1: [whenyouseealemon.png]

goat: i don’t get it

probably not a lizard: old man

hurricane tortilla: ok we found my shoe it got stuck under ike’s bed

hurricane tortilla: ike’s still asleep she asked me to be her gf last night and right after i said yes she kissed me and fell asleep

thot 2: OH HELL YEAH

thot 2: TRUST THE MOON!!!!!!!

thot patrol: wig……

hurricane tortilla: it was rly funny but i made sure she was ok because jesus

ike but cuter: ya she doesn’t sleep much this is a blessing

ike but cuter: i got the sleepy boy syndrome she got the i hate sleep syndrome

binch: hrgle

oh shit a rat: gm finch

binch: im foing bavk to sleeo

oh shit a rat: gn finch

BoohBah: good news my ears are back

yeehaw: wonderful news

davey: thank u

ike but cuter: i woke her up my murder will be on the 5 o’clock news

thot patrol: good luck soldier

thot 1: this is a mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://trans-race.tumblr.com)   
>  [other fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18206744)   
> 


	5. muhkip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> race: bastard (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> darcy: dorcy! (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> romeo: rose emoji (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> albert: owo uwu owo nya (he/him, cis male, pan)  
> bill: bees? (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> crutchie: crunchy (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> davey: davey (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> elmer: glue (he/they, genderfluid, pan)  
> mush: michael meyers (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> jack: yeehaw (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> spot: sprite cranberry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> mike: ike but cuter (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> ike: thot 3 (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> henry: BoohBah (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> finch: binch (he/him, cis male, demi)  
> buttons: babadook (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> smalls: mr wide (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> jojo: jowojowo (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> blink: get it i’m half blind (he/they, demiboy, gay)  
> specs: thot 4 (she/her, cis female, bi)  
> tommy boy: oh shit a rat (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> sniper: thot patrol (she/her, trans female, ace)  
> katherine: thot 1 (she/her, trans female, lesbian)  
> sarah: thot 2 (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> myron: probably not a lizard (they/them, nonbinary, pan)  
> bart: not a furry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> hotshot: goat (he/they, gnc, pan)  
> graves: VoreMaster69 (he/him, cis male, ace)  
> kenny: save me from my hell (he/him, cis male, bi)

bees?: good news

binch: huh

owo uwu owo nya: nani

bees?: dog

dorcy!: *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE

bees?: thank u i’ll be here all week

glue: i want a dog!!

mr wide: fool. u already have an axolotl and like four cats

glue: three!! skittle, m&m, and litten n then mudkip the axolotl

glue: or as race likes to say

glue: Muhkip

bastard: (opens coat) wanna buy one of my speech issues

oh shit a rat: same hat

bastard: same hat!

michael meyers: HEY BLINK DID THE CUTEST THING JUST NOW

michael meyers: HE’S ASLEEP N HE MUMBLED “LOVE YOU” N KISSED MY ARM WHILE HE WAS ASLEEP

michael meyers: i’m so full of love for him and him only

yeehaw: valid

 

_ [davey > jack] _

 

davey: pay up i was right

jack: fuck you. no

davey: who’s next

jack: hmm

jack: u and darcy

davey: :)

davey: do you value your skeleton, jack?

jack: y.yes

jack: elmer and smalls

davey: aw yea

 

_ [nuwusies]  _

 

bastard: i miss spot he’s at a drum corps thing and he’s busy all the time

ike but cuter: i miss henry

uh oh sisters!: he was just over

ike but cuter: yea but i miss him

 

_ [mike > ike] _

 

ike: GAYS

mike: no u

ike: DATE ALREADY

mike: NO U

ike: I AM DUMBASS

mike: god dammit

ike: ur a pussy he obviously likes u

mike: as a friend

ike: UR SO DUMB BYE

 

_ [ike > henry] _

 

ike: do u like mike

henry: yeah of course!

ike: no like romantically

henry: yeah i’m asking him soon!

ike: SNATCH MY WEAVE I GUESS OK

henry: xD

 

_ [nuwusies] _

 

oh shit a rat: the next time i have to speak publicly i’m going to unhinge my jaw and scream like a creacher

binch: i’ll order for you tommy

oh shit a rat: (soft yeehaw)

yeehaw: yeehaw!

oh shit a rat: too loud

yeehaw: (softly) yeehaw,

oh shit a rat: perfect

sprite cranberry: hey i miss all of you except jack and race

bastard: BABE!!!!

bastard: 💕💞💕💙🖤🖤💗💕

sprite cranberry: .

sprite cranberry: ok maybe i miss you a little.

bastard: i miss u a LOT.

sprite cranberry: i’ll be home next week ok? then i’ll stay at yours for a little

bastard: ok 💞

yeehaw: wh.why not me

sprite cranberry: cowboy.

yeehaw: BECAUSE I’M A COWBOY?

yeehaw: i’m gonna stomp you to death with my hooves

_ uh oh sisters! has changed their name to thot 3. _

_ hurricane tortilla has changed their name to thot 4. _

thot 3: joining our family

thot 1: we got new kids?

thot patrol: ya i pulled them over for thot crimes now they’re with u

thot 2: hell yea thots united

 

_ [lesbian crisis hotline] _

 

_ ike has added specs to the group. _

_ ike has added sniper to the group. _

ike: my most esteemed bastards, i’d daresay we need a girls day

sniper: YAYAYAYAYA

sarah: I AGREE 100%

ike: we should do girl things and then sleep over at my house and talk abt how stupid the ferals and domesticated cryptids we’re friends with r

katherine: YEAH!!!

specs: YEA WHEN

ike: tmrw or ur coochie stanky 

sniper: where we meetin?

ike: mine bc i’m driving

specs: sexy ily

ike: !!!!!!! ILYT

 

_ [nuwusies] _

 

crunchy: *crunches all my bones into dust

owo uwu owo nya: PLEASE don’t fucking say that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://trans-race.tumblr.com)   
>  [my other fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18206744)   
> 


	6. JOJO CALLED ME A WHOOOOORE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> race: bastard (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> darcy: dorcy! (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> romeo: rose emoji (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> albert: owo uwu owo nya (he/him, cis male, pan)  
> bill: bees? (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> crutchie: crunchy (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> davey: davey (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> elmer: glue (he/they, genderfluid, pan)  
> mush: michael meyers (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> jack: yeehaw (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> spot: sprite cranberry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> mike: ike but cuter (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> ike: thot 3 (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> henry: BoohBah (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> finch: binch (he/him, cis male, demi)  
> buttons: babadook (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> smalls: mr wide (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> jojo: jowojowo (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> blink: get it i’m half blind (he/they, demiboy, gay)  
> specs: thot 4 (she/her, cis female, bi)  
> tommy boy: oh shit a rat (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> sniper: thot patrol (she/her, trans female, ace)  
> katherine: thot 1 (she/her, trans female, lesbian)  
> sarah: thot 2 (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> myron: probably not a lizard (they/them, nonbinary, pan)  
> bart: not a furry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> hotshot: goat (he/they, gnc, pan)  
> graves: VoreMaster69 (he/him, cis male, ace)  
> kenny: save me from my hell (he/him, cis male, bi)

binch: to the baby crying while i’m waiting for my financial aid shit: please shut up i’m begging you

oh shit a rat: hoes mad ig

binch: i’m hoes

probably not a lizard: steal the kid’s skeleton

probably not a lizard: that usually works

binch: Huh?

probably not a lizard: you heard me

binch: im shaking boss

yeehaw: MORNING COWBOYS I’M GONNA EAT THE SUN

oh shit a rat: how’s it taste lad

yeehaw: hot

probably not a lizard: it’s 2 in the afternoon kelly

yeehaw: i’m screaming and crying why does everyone across the bridge call me kelly

goat: just for funsies

save me from my hell: wild

goat: oh jeez kenny i forgot u were here

save me from my hell: same

bastard: saw my boy finch in the financial aid office and nearly punched him in the dick

yeehaw: how tf

binch: HE TRIPPED AND DICK PUNCHED ME 

binch: HOES FUCKIJG MAD

bastard: IT WSS AN ACCIDENTNTRT

babadook: losers u have friends? can’t relate

jowojowo: squints

babadook: uwu

ike but cuter: henry came over and uh

ike but cuter: i have a bf now?

jowojowo: [YOUWHAT.png]

ike but cuter: YA!

bastard: CONGRATS!!!!!!!!

thot 3: WAIT HUH?

 

_ [mike > ike] _

 

ike: I LEAVE FOR ONE DAY

mike: I KNOW

ike: HOLY SHIT!

ike: ik he was gonna ask u out soon but WROW

mike: YOU KNEW?

ike: I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD A CRUSH ON U AND HE SAID HE WAS PLANNING ON ASKING U OUT

mike: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?

ike: 😳 we gayin 😔

 

_ [henry > finch] _

 

henry: ok i did my end it’s your turn

finch: (fear)

finch: Listen I Can’t

henry: yes you can -_-

finch: no i can’T

henry: YES YOU CAN!!!!

finch: >:(

henry: >:0

finch: i’ll try.

henry: you Will.

 

_ [nuwusies] _

  
  


bastard: [image0.jpg]

bastard: MY BOY IS BACK!!!!

mr wide: MY DADS R REUNITED

bastard: i’m uwuing i missed spot sm

sprite cranberry: i missed you too ❤️

rose emoji: yes… Yes…

sprite cranberry: ROMEO YOU’RE ALIVE?

rose emoji: i sure am

rose emoji: i’m Healedt

sprite cranberry: congratuleggtion Healedt

rose emoji: thank u spotlon

jowojowo: i love ………. boys

bastard: (frantic nodding)

jowojowo: but also………….. girls

thot 2: (FRANTIC NODDING)

jowojowo: but i only have eyes for One boy

 

_ [jack > jojo] _

 

jack: WHO

jack: TEA

jojo: uhhhh.hh buttons

jack: oh aw date

jojo: no he’s too good

jack: stfu ur both good

jojo: u shut ur lying whore mouth

jack: GASP

 

_ [nuwusies] _

 

yeehaw: JOJO CALLED ME A WHOOOORE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://trans-race.tumblr.com)   
>  [other fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18206744)   
> 


	7. this is my pal lamp davey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> race: bastard (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> darcy: dorcy! (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> romeo: rose emoji (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> albert: owo uwu owo nya (he/him, cis male, pan)  
> bill: bees? (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> crutchie: crunchy (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> davey: davey (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> elmer: glue (he/they, genderfluid, pan)  
> mush: michael meyers (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> jack: yeehaw (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> spot: sprite cranberry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> mike: ike but cuter (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> ike: thot 3 (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> henry: BoohBah (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> finch: binch (he/him, cis male, demi)  
> buttons: babadook (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> smalls: mr wide (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> jojo: jowojowo (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> blink: get it i’m half blind (he/they, demiboy, gay)  
> specs: thot 4 (she/her, cis female, bi)  
> tommy boy: oh shit a rat (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> sniper: thot patrol (she/her, trans female, ace)  
> katherine: thot 1 (she/her, trans female, lesbian)  
> sarah: thot 2 (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> myron: probably not a lizard (they/them, nonbinary, pan)  
> bart: not a furry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> hotshot: goat (he/they, gnc, pan)  
> graves: VoreMaster69 (he/him, cis male, ace)  
> kenny: save me from my hell (he/him, cis male, bi)

thot patrol: i’m patrollin lookin for ur thottiest crimes

bastard: fuck blue lives i’m gonna thot my way around

thot patrol: SIRENS

bastard: FUCK BLUE LIVES!

thot patrol: FUCK YOU!!!

glue: guys

bastard: NO FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!

bastard: yes my child

thot patrol: I’M COMING TO ARREST U

bastard: NO

glue: guys .

thot patrol: RRRRRRRR

thot patrol: yes elmer

bastard: SNIPER YOU’RE NEVER GONNA GET ME ALIVE

glue: GUYS SMALLS IS ASLEEP

mr wide: who the FUCK keeps hitting up the groupchat i’ll come for your BLOOD. 

mr wide: @bastard @thot patrol do you guys wanna explain why you’re spamming at 6am :)?

bastard: we haven’t slept

thot patrol: we’re having a sleepover 😔

mr wide: antonio . madeleine . not all of us are nocturnal

bastard: sucks

mr wide: H

sprite cranberry: WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP. 

bastard: yes sir

sprite cranberry: thank you.

 

_[jack > race] _

 

jack: imy :(

race: come over hang w me and sniper

jack: i’m w davey

race: 😔 ok sir

 

_[davey > jack] _

 

davey: any ideas who’s next

davey: voice machine broke

jack: JOJO AND BUTTONS

jack: elmer and smalls r getting us NOWHERE

davey: that was so certain u good

jack: between us. jojo likes buttons

davey: HE DOES

jack: YEA

davey: hang on

 

_[davey > buttons] _

 

davey: question

davey: wait i’m gonna call

buttons: no i’m here

buttons: wht

davey: if i tell you my crush will you tell me yours

buttons: why

davey: curiosity

buttons: it’s jojo

davey: oh worm

buttons: and you like darcy

davey: .

davey: snatch my fuckin weave ig. 

buttons: we can all tell

buttons: it’s ok tho

buttons: i’m gonna go to bed ily

davey: ilyt

 

_[davey > jack] _

 

davey: yeah. jojo and buttons

jack: what did you do

davey: things

jack: hmm. horrifying!

davey: :)

 

_[nuwusies]_

 

thot 2: when you think about it swamps are a lot like pussies

not a furry: wgat??????

thot 2: wet

thot 4: is that all

thot 2: warm

thot 2: home to shrek

not a furry: i’m shaking and crying

thot 2: now why would you be doing that

yeehaw: sarah please make me unread that

thot 3: you think she can read?

thot 2: yeah jackathan

michael meyers: jackathan??

thot 1: ya thts his full name

michael meyers: wack 

crunchy: why’re all the thots out and about

bastard: thot patrol’s passed out

bastard: we were having our super fun and quirky hangout

crunchy: oh worm

yeehaw: davey just fell into a lamp

yeehaw: this is my pal lamp davey 

crunchy: no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://trans-race.tumblr.com)  
> [other fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18206744)  
> i’m in college now so updates might come less often but i’m working on everything


	8. i’d like to fuck a scorpio for sport

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> race: bastard (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> darcy: dorcy! (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> romeo: rose emoji (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> albert: owo uwu owo nya (he/him, cis male, pan)  
> bill: bees? (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> crutchie: crunchy (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> davey: lamp davey (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> elmer: glue (he/they, genderfluid, pan)  
> mush: michael meyers (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> jack: yeehaw (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> spot: sprite cranberry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> mike: ike but cuter (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> ike: thot 3 (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> henry: BoohBah (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> finch: binch (he/him, cis male, demi)  
> buttons: babadook (he/him, trans male, bi)  
> smalls: mr wide (he/him, trans male, pan)  
> jojo: jowojowo (he/him, cis male, bi)  
> blink: get it i’m half blind (he/they, demiboy, gay)  
> specs: thot 4 (she/her, cis female, bi)  
> tommy boy: frank is my daddy uwu (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> sniper: thot patrol (she/her, trans female, ace)  
> katherine: thot 1 (she/her, trans female, lesbian)  
> sarah: thot 2 (she/her, cis female, lesbian)  
> myron: probably not a lizard (they/them, nonbinary, pan)  
> bart: not a furry (he/him, cis male, gay)  
> hotshot: goat (he/they, gnc, pan)  
> graves: VoreMaster69 (he/him, cis male, ace)  
> kenny: save me from my hell (he/him, cis male, bi)

dorcy!: i got an anonymous letter ?? who writes letters anymore

bees?: oh?

dorcy!: it’s written in like ,, calligraphy

thot 3: well what does it say sir

dorcy!: hang on i’ll type it out

davey: wait what

bees?: darcyus got a letter

dorcy!: A LOVE LETTER!

dorcy!: “you deserve so much, you deserve someone to kiss you, to hold you tight, to tell you how beautiful and important and meaningful you are. you deserve everything in this world, my angel. i wish i could give it to you. - someone you know”

bees?: OOOOOOO

michael meyers: SOMEONE LIKES DARCY

bastard: who’s gonna own up! c’mon!

dorcy!: [IMG_1508.jpg]

dorcy!: it’s really pretty ,,

davey: holy SHIT!

crunchy: what if it’s someone here 

yeehaw: OOOH

dorcy!: no because then it wouldn’t be from a vampire :(

thot 4: ??

thot 4: why would it be from a vampire 

dorcy!: if you were hypothetically attracted to men for this situation only, wouldn’t a vampire bf sound so sexy

thot 4: no

bastard: you’ve got a point darcy

dorcy!: thank you sir

dorcy!: plus that’s such fancy writing style how could it not be a vampire

thot 3: u rlly don’t know who it is

thot 3: u rlly can’t tell

dorcy!: no !!

thot 3: mk 

 

_ [davey > jack] _

 

jack: did you fuckin really

davey: :|

jack: >:\ use ur words

davey: :p

jack: david

davey: *runs

jack: GET BACK HERE

 

_ [nuwusies] _

 

_ oh shit a rat has changed their name to frank is my daddy uwu. _

frank is my daddy uwu: darcy it’s obvious who it’s from

binch: WEEB BOY?

frank is my daddy uwu: can i call you senpai

bastard: huh

binch: it’s a tiktok

bastard: oh ok

babadook: i want it to be halloween already

sprite cranberry: yes

mr wide: yes

glue: yes

bastard: yes 

yeehaw: yes

thot 4: yes

ike but cuter: yes

crunchy: yes

babadook: yes

babadook: good talk

probably not a lizard: what

probably not a lizard: oh

probably not a lizard: yes

sprite cranberry: the time’s passed myron

probably not a lizard: 😔

_ davey has changed their name to lamp davey. _

lamp davey: hey boys

bastard: i’d like to fuck a scorpio for sport

sprite cranberry: babe

bastard: ye

sprite cranberry: i’m a scorpio 

bastard: RLLY

sprite cranberry: november 3rd

bastard: come over

sprite cranberry: ok

thot patrol: i hate horny people so much it’s unreal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://trans-race.tumblr.com)  
> [other fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18206744)  
> yes i referenced my own tiktok  
> also thank u bite for the “id like to fuck a scorpio for sport” line it was rlly funny


	9. college season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i added their ages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> race: thot 5 (he/him, trans male, pan, 18)  
> darcy: dorcy! (he/him, cis male, gay, 19)  
> romeo: rose emoji (he/him, cis male, bi, 17)  
> albert: owo uwu owo nya (he/him, cis male, pan, 17)  
> bill: bees? (he/him, cis male, gay, 20)  
> crutchie: crunchy (he/him, cis male, gay, 18)  
> davey: lamp davey (he/him, cis male, bi, 18)  
> elmer: glue (he/they, genderfluid, pan, 16)  
> mush: michael meyers (he/him, cis male, gay, 17)  
> jack: yeehaw (he/him, cis male, bi, 18)  
> spot: thot 6 (he/him, cis male, gay, 18)  
> mike: ike but cuter (he/him, trans male, pan, 19)  
> ike: thot 3 (she/her, cis female, lesbian, 19)  
> henry: BoohBah (he/him, trans male, bi, 18)  
> finch: binch (he/him, cis male, demi, 19)  
> buttons: babadook (he/him, trans male, bi, 20)  
> smalls: mr wide (he/him, trans male, pan, 16)  
> jojo: jowojowo (he/him, cis male, bi, 19)  
> blink: get it i’m half blind (he/they, demiboy, gay, 17)  
> specs: thot 4 (she/her, cis female, bi, 19)  
> tommy boy: frank is my daddy uwu (he/him, cis male, gay, 19)  
> sniper: thot patrol (she/her, trans female, ace, 20)  
> katherine: lesbian (she/her, trans female, lesbian, 19)  
> sarah: american (she/her, cis female, lesbian, 18)  
> myron: probably not a lizard (they/them, nonbinary, pan, 19)  
> bart: not a furry (he/him, cis male, gay, 19)  
> hotshot: goat (he/they, gnc, pan, 17)  
> graves: VoreMaster69 (he/him, cis male, ace, 18)  
> kenny: save me from my hell (he/him, cis male, bi, 20)

_bastard has changed their name to thot 5._

_sprite cranberry has changed their name to thot 6._

thot patrol: punishment for their crimes

thot 2: when will our sentence be filled

thot patrol: soon

thot 1: Yes,

thot 2: boys r so dumb darcy’s over here crying with another letter

yeehaw: @dorcy! what does it say

lamp davey: hang on he’s holding macbeth the snake

thot 5: idk who it is ?? y’all make it seem obvious when it’s not

thot 3: oh my god sarah ur right 

thot 2: i always am!

dorcy!: “sometimes when i look at you, i feel like im icarus trapped in the labriynth, longing for apollo. - someone you know”

thot 5: AW

thot patrol: bc thts so soft and it made me soft kath and sarah r free

thot 1: YEAAAA

 

_[katherine > sarah] _

 

sarah: who’s lesbian and who’s american

katherine: i’m lesbian

sarah: i thought u were american

 

_[nuwusies]_

 

_thot 1 has changed their name to lesbian._

_thot 2 has changed their name to american._

lesbian: we’re funny 

thot 4: yes you are!!!!

thot 3: we can’t move up thts our moms’ numbers ….

thot 5: y’all come over i’m lonely

thot 6: wait an hour y’all 

thot patrol: (SIRENS)

yeehaw: yes sirs

mr wide: im sad :(

yeehaw: why!

mr wide: a lot of u guys r leaving for college soon and elmer and i are just baby

get it i’m half blind: a lot of us r 17 still

glue: yea but we’re gonna miss the college kids right!

get it i’m half blind: right but you two won’t be alone! a lot of us are just seniors

mr wide: i forget 17 is senior 😳😔

mr wide: i’m still gonna miss u guys tho

thot 4: i’ll miss you too smalls :(

thot 4: my flute buddy

mr wide: YEAAAAA

dorcy!: is anyone leaving state for college ??

thot 5: spot and i aren’t but we’ll be across the state in ithaca

thot 5: guard and band scholarships babeyyy

dorcy!: darn

dorcy!: i was gonna say we can all hang out on weekends

thot 5: we can come down for breaks too!!!

dorcy!: that works out then!!!!

thot 5: we’re moving out next week

yeehaw: we cn help right guys!!

yeehaw: and moral support

michael meyers: YEA we cn all help

thot 5: hell yeah bet!!!!

thot 5: spot’s here gtg

dorcy!: i got home and there was another letter waiting hang on

ike but cuter: i’m screaming and crying it’s so obvious

lamp davey: i wanna hear what it says!!!

BoohBah: this one’s long ig :O

dorcy!: “my apollo, my angel, i wish i was brave enough to tell you who i am, but i'm afraid that if i do, you'll never want to talk to me again. i used to think that the story of icarus should've ended with apollo saving icarus, and the two of them remaining united as lovers for eternity. does that seem foolish? - someone you know” i’m gonna shit myself

crunchy: you’re all fools i’m gonna grind your bones into dust

owo uwu owo nya: every fucking time you appear it’s something cursed

yeehaw: what if your thumb was two feet long and it had a joint every inch

crunchy: YEAAAAA

rose emoji: i hate this family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://trans-race.tumblr.com)  
> [other fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18206744)  
> i’ll update the other fic eventually


	10. is obama a kinnie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> race: thot 5 (he/him, trans male, pan, 18)  
> darcy: dorcy! (he/him, cis male, gay, 19)  
> romeo: rose emoji (he/him, cis male, bi, 17)  
> albert: owo uwu owo nya (he/him, cis male, pan, 17)  
> bill: bees? (he/him, cis male, gay, 20)  
> crutchie: crunchy (he/him, cis male, gay, 18)  
> davey: lamp davey (he/him, cis male, bi, 18)  
> elmer: glue (he/they, genderfluid, pan, 16)  
> mush: michael meyers (he/him, cis male, gay, 17)  
> jack: yeehaw (he/him, cis male, bi, 18)  
> spot: thot 6 (he/him, cis male, gay, 18)  
> mike: ike but cuter (he/him, trans male, pan, 19)  
> ike: mike but sexier (she/her, cis female, lesbian, 19)  
> henry: BoohBah (he/him, trans male, bi, 18)  
> finch: binch (he/him, cis male, demi, 19)  
> buttons: babadook (he/him, trans male, bi, 20)  
> smalls: mr wide (he/him, trans male, pan, 16)  
> jojo: jowojowo (he/him, cis male, bi, 19)  
> blink: get it i’m half blind (he/they, demiboy, gay, 17)  
> specs: obama kins sans smashbros (she/her, cis female, bi, 19)  
> tommy boy: frank is my daddy uwu (he/him, cis male, gay, 19)  
> sniper: thot patrol (she/her, trans female, ace, 20)  
> katherine: lesbian (she/her, trans female, lesbian, 19)  
> sarah: american (she/her, cis female, lesbian, 18)  
> myron: probably not a lizard (they/them, nonbinary, pan, 19)  
> bart: not a furry (he/him, cis male, gay, 19)  
> hotshot: goat (he/they, gnc, pan, 17)  
> graves: VoreMaster69 (he/him, cis male, ace, 18)  
> kenny: save me from my hell (he/him, cis male, bi, 20)

jowojowo: ok kids it’s time to play our fav game

jowojowo: when will my bf give my hoodie back

thot 3: bf?

jowojowo: ya buttons and i got together

lamp davey: WHEN?

jowojowo: like two weeks ago??

babadook: did we not tell y’all???

lamp davey: NO?????

babadook: oh lmao oops

yeehaw: CONGRATS???????

babadook: thank u!

dorcy!: got another!

yeehaw: oh my god it’s so obvious 

dorcy!: “my darling apollo, i really am sorry that i cant bring up the courage to tell you who i am. but i fear that the story will end as it originally did, with icarus falling out of reach of his lover. but how i wish that i could kiss you, how i wish i could hold you tight, how i wish i could be yours, my apollo. - someone you know” I’M LITERALLY SHAKING AND CRYING

lamp davey: he is we’re on a voice call

thot 3: can i just say it

ike but cuter: LET HIM FIGURE IT OUT!

 

_ [davey > jack] _

 

jack: now who

davey: do we want to focus on smalls and elmer again

jack: i like watching you avoid the subject of the letters around darcy more so i want to put my bet on him and you

davey: :)

jack: steal my bones i’ll eat your goddamn teeth

davey: wow. ok

jack: ;)

 

_ [nuwusies] _

 

dorcy!: it’s not that obvious if it was i would’ve known by now

dorcy!: but i have an idea

bees?: whom ?

dorcy!: i’ll dm you!

 

_ [darcy > bill] _

 

darcy: i think it’s from jack??

bill: OH MY GOD

 

_ [jack > bill] _

 

bill: [ScreenshotDiscord091519.jpg]

bill: HELP HIM

jack: HDJSJDJAJDBDHFJSJS

jack: i’m msging him

 

_ [jack > darcy] _

 

jack: darcy ilysm but i didn’t write those

darcy: oh ok!

darcy: i have another suspicion but i don’t wanna text it 

darcy: i’ll call you 

jack: ok!!

 

_ [nuwusies] _

 

thot 5: if obama was a kinnie who would he kin 

ike but cuter: come again?

thot 5: if barack obama kinned 

thot 5: who would he kin 

american: hot guess. komaeda

thot 5: does anyone have any input

american: komaeda 

thot 5: anyone

american: racer i’ll kill you

thot 5: i don’t want the answer you gave

lesbian: i agree. komaeda 

thot 4: i raise another candidate 

thot 5: yes specs

thot 4: sans smashbros

thot 5: specs.

thot 4: oh you’re right. sans deltarune

ike but cuter: this is bad

yeehaw: thrilling news

ike but cuter: please sir

dorcy!: i was talking to jack and i figured it out

thot 3: YES GO ON

dorcy!: davey ?

lamp davey: please don’t be mad at me

dorcy!: hang on

 

_ [darcy > davey] _

 

darcy: i’m anything but mad i promise

darcy: i’m coming over ok? unlock the door

davey: ok

 

[nuwusies]

 

thot 4: YAAAAAY

thot 4: FINALLY!

glue: AW

thot 6: YEAH!!!!!

crunchy: i love dog

bees?: ME TOO

babadook: Everyone liked that.

thot 6: thank you buttons

lamp davey: Nice

yeehaw: GOOD.

dorcy!: 😌

thot patrol: i’m soft. ike and specs are freed

thot 3: YEEEEEE

thot 3 has changed their name to  _ mike but sexier. _

mike but sexier: choose your fighter

ike but cuter: i’ll kill you.

_ thot 4 has changed their name to obama kins sans smashbros. _

thot 5: :)

crunchy: This Is Bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://trans-race.tumblr.com)  
> [other fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18206744)  
> this was blursed


	11. halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> race: thot 5 (he/him, trans male, pan, 18)  
> darcy: dorcy! (he/him, cis male, gay, 19)  
> romeo: rose emoji (he/him, cis male, bi, 17)  
> albert: owo uwu owo nya (he/him, cis male, pan, 17)  
> bill: bees? (he/him, cis male, gay, 20)  
> crutchie: crunchy (he/him, cis male, gay, 18)  
> davey: lamp davey (he/him, cis male, bi, 18)  
> elmer: glue (he/they, genderfluid, pan, 16)  
> mush: michael meyers (he/him, cis male, gay, 17)  
> jack: yeehaw (he/him, cis male, bi, 18)  
> spot: thot 6 (he/him, cis male, gay, 18)  
> mike: ike but cuter (he/him, trans male, pan, 19)  
> ike: mike but sexier (she/her, cis female, lesbian, 19)  
> henry: BoohBah (he/him, trans male, bi, 18)  
> finch: binch (he/him, cis male, demi, 19)  
> buttons: babadook (he/him, trans male, bi, 20)  
> smalls: mr wide (he/him, trans male, pan, 16)  
> jojo: jowojowo (he/him, cis male, bi, 19)  
> blink: get it i’m half blind (he/they, demiboy, gay, 17)  
> specs: obama kins sans smashbros (she/her, cis female, bi, 19)  
> tommy boy: frank is my daddy uwu (he/him, cis male, gay, 19)  
> sniper: thot patrol (she/her, trans female, ace, 20)  
> katherine: lesbian (she/her, trans female, lesbian, 19)  
> sarah: american (she/her, cis female, lesbian, 18)  
> myron: probably not a lizard (they/them, nonbinary, pan, 19)  
> bart: not a furry (he/him, cis male, gay, 19)  
> hotshot: goat (he/they, gnc, pan, 17)  
> graves: VoreMaster69 (he/him, cis male, ace, 18)  
> kenny: save me from my hell (he/him, cis male, bi, 20)

crunchy: halloween

crunchy: its soon

crunchy: what’re the plans guys

mike but sexier: my girls and i are matching

lamp davey: darcy’s being eve and i’m being wall-e

thot 5: my costume is a surprise ;)

thot 6: i’m still unsure what to be and i’m not taking race’s advice

thot 6: he said i should be a slutty lucky luciano

yeehaw: I WILL PAY YOU $50 IN CASH IF YOU DO THAT

thot 6: real shit?

yeehaw: real shit.

thot 6: then bet, kelly

yeehaw: fuck yeah

yeehaw: anyway im going as a cowboy again

crunchy: very nice but WHERE ARE WE HAVING THE HALLOWEEN PARTY THIS YEAR??

lesbian: well

lesbian: dad won’t be home that night

lesbian: because he’s on a business trip the whole weekend

lesbian: so do we want a normal party or a penthouse + rooftop party

mike but sexier: I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK.

lesbian: good!

crunchy: so katherine’s on the 31st? any objections?

glue: as long as i can get a ride

glue: i am but baby

yeehaw: got u elmer

glue: thank you

 

_[race > sniper] _

 

race: do i get to know what the group costume is ma’am

sniper: yes but if u tell a soul i’ll kill u

race: i’ll tell u mine and we can hold each other at knifepoint

sniper: deal

sniper: specs is sailor moon, i’m sailor venus, ike is sailor mercury, sarah is sailor mars, and katherine is sailor jupiter

race: OMG THATS SO CUTE

sniper: I KNOW

race: im gonna be the mothman

sniper: good. moth hours

race: we moth

 

_[nuwusies]_

 

frank is my daddy uwu: i want to do couples costumes

binch: bet do one with me

frank is my daddy uwu: nani

binch: do couples costume with me

frank is my daddy uwu: ok

crunchy: aw

mr wide: elmer and i are gonna both be harry potter

jowojowo: spiderverse gang

get it im half blind: gang gang

michael meyers: we out hereeee

babadook: hell yea

ike but cuter: 🤪

BoohBah: im just gonna be normal spiderman bc i can’t make the one robot’s costumeeee

BoohBah: they said i’m in spidergang though!

thot patrol: on god i’m so excited we’re gonna be so sexy

crunchy: YUH

crunchy: guess what i’m gonna be

thot 5: hot

crunchy: bitch it’s a costume not me on the daily

thot 5: idk then

crunchy: hehehehehe

crunchy: no one is ready for rocky crutchie

thot 6: rocky balboa or rocky undead himbo

crunchy: undead himbo 

thot 5: FUCK YEAHHHHH

lamp davey: i’m assuming les is barred

lesbian: how old is he again 

lamp davey: he’ll be fifteen in january

lesbian: yes he is barred 

lamp davey: alright i’ll tell him so he can go to his friends’ party

bees?: i can’t go bc i’m in florida

lesbian: what the fuck does florida have that my party doesn’t

bees?: florida man

ike but cuter: i’m literally right here

mike but sexier: mike shut the fuck up oh my god i am going to wear your bones as accessories

crunchy: well, ike…..

crunchy: *holds up mike’s bones

ike but cuter: what do you mean holds uOH SHIT

ike but cuter: *sound of all my meat hitting the floor

thot 6: NO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://trans-race.tumblr.com)   
>  [please read my serious fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18206744)   
> 

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanna write fun shit y’all


End file.
